Yay...

Finally a good start to the week, my wobbly boots seems to have been given a rest.

I have already cooked all my dinners for the week, I have actually planned my menu a fortnight a head, i'm already one litre of water down and i'm busting to get to gym this afternoon.. feeling positive and healthy today so yipeeee!

Week 15 Weigh In & Photo Update

Well what a disasterous week!

I was sick with the flu for most of the week, i'm only just starting to feel human again now. Of course that means I got absolutely no exercise done this week and my eating was all over the place. Despite all that I still managed to lose 200grams so I guess that is a positive.

I've been feeling a little lacklustre the last couple of weeks and that is steming mostly from letting myself down. I need to get back on track, I know illness happens and there isn't much you can do about that, but I made some terrible choices with food this week and that is all on me. I just need to give myself a good kick up the butt and get going again. I know as soon as I start seeing some good numbers looking back at me on a monday morning again I will be ok, so time to stop procrastinating me thinks.

Instead of dwelling on the negatives of this week, I have decided i'm going to focus on the positives, I have lost 10.2kg so far on my little journey. It hasn't come of quite as fast as I would have hopped but it is a marathon not a sprint, it can take 4 years to come off if it wants to, i'm not going to give up.

So here we go, me at 10.2kg lighter:

Week 14 Weigh In

As expected I gained 400g this week. I'm trying really hard not to let it get me down, I know it will be gone plus more next week. It is a little frustrating though, my goal of reaching 90kg by June seems to be getting further out of reach, i'm not going to stop trying though.

The Night Before

Sunday nights are always a mixed bag for me being the night before my routine Monday morning weigh in. I seem to spend the evening going back over my week, thinking about areas I slipped up or the ways in which I managed to impress even myself.

This week has been a bit of a double edged sword. I'm uber impressed that I kept my goals, I went to gym 4 times, I stuck to my points and I tracked everything ...so one very big pat on the back for me. But i'm feeling a little bloated this evening and TTOM is immenant so i'm really not sure how the scales are going to play out tomorrow morning. It has always slowed my weight loss down in the past but I have never gained as a result. My concern is, that as I was getting dressed this morning for a BBQ lunch, I put on what has become my favourite pair of jeans lately only to be confronted with an uncomfortably tight feeling around my waist...bahh humbug!!!

So i'm mentally preparing for the possiblity of a gain. I am making a promise to myself right now that if that is the way it does play out that I will not be disheartened, I will not let it deter or derail me, it will only be temporary and I can enjoy a bigger loss next week. Oh and just for safe measure i'm pulling out my measuring tape so I can take my measurements, I only ever take them in bad weeks so i have something positive to focus on.

On another positive note, my beautiful mother told me today she has been inspired by my weight loss and asked if I would mind if she joined the gym that I go to. Now to put that in perspective, my mum has her dad's genes and her dad was a jockey so she has always been on the petite side but she assures me that she is growing a floatation device around her waist and doesn't like it one bit, so she wants to follow my lead! I have so much admiration for her, so it was a real boost to hear that I have inspired her to do something instead of the other way around!

My goal for this week is to significantly reduce my diet coke habit. Up until this point I have used it to combat sugar cravings but i'm really starting to think I'm just trading one bad habit for another so it's gotta go or at the very least be wound right down. On that note however, it's time for sleep before my somewhat dreaded death match with the scales.

Self Belief & Technical Issues

When I started WW back in January I was determined to lose weight but I set my goal at 70kg which only put me in my healthy weight range by a hair, it's the curse of being a shortie I tell you! If I was to be totally honest when I started WW I really wasn't convinced that even 70kg was going to be achievable so didn't see the point in putting undue pressure on myself.

I said in an earlier entry that the changes I have seen in myself over the last 13 weeks have been amazing and one of those changes is a belief that I can do pretty much anything I set my mind too. Previously, I was a person terrified of failure, so terrified of it in fact, that I just stopped trying. If I didn't try, I couldn't fail at least that was my perspective.

After shedding 10.4kg I can proudly say that I believe I can do this and I can get to my goal weight no matter what I chose to set that at. So after some reevaluation I have decided to set my goal weight at 60kg. In January when I started WW the prospect of being able to lose 47.4kg seemed right up there with my being able to fly to the moon and back. It's funny how things change though, because it doesn't seem so scary now, it seems attainable, actually no...it is attainable!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not kidding myself that it will be easy, I know it won't be but that doesn't stop me anymore and i LOVE that feeling. Every passing day a little more life creeps back into me and that is worth more than I could ever express in words.

I don't know if anyone actually reads anything I write it, it's ok if they don't as it is really more for my own benefit but on the off chance that anyone does and especially if you are only just starting....believe in yourself! It is the most powerful tool you have and honestly, once you do, the world is your oyster and you can change your life!

On the technical side of things, I think I have fixed my comments but I make no guarantees.

Week 13 Weigh In

HOLY SMOKES!!!!

I could have picked my scales up and hugged them this morning when they revealed a 1.6kg loss for the week. That takes my total weight loss to 10.4kg and only 300g off losing 10% of my body weight. That is freakin amazing!!!

I've definitely had my ups and downs over the last 13 weeks but they have all been worth it to find myself standing here right now.

Bring on the next 10 I say!

I've been doing some thinking

When I joined WW back in January, one of my motivations came from the realisation that I wasn't actively living my life any longer. I was quite happy to just sit back and exist from day to day, well happy wasn't really what I was but I was comfortable doing that. After my little light bulb moment, I realised that that was an incredibly sad state of affairs for anyone let alone someone who is only 28. That evening I signed up to WW.

In 12 weeks I've learnt some amazing things about myself and my ability to actually achieve goals when I put my mind to them but somewhere in the last month the wheels have become a bit wobbly. I'm not really sure why or what happened. But instead of following the program, that I know works by the way, I started to make little allowances for myself, like not exercising as much as I need to or having a treat food more often than I should. Today I sat down a looked over my weekly tracker and was shocked to see that I was having a 'treat' nearly everyday, I've only kind of been sticking to my points and I've been to the gym twice in the last two weeks. When did that happen and probably more importantly, why?

Old habits are hard to break and sometimes without even realising it they reappear in your life. It's not until you are given a reason to take stock of where you are and how you are going that you see patterns for what they really are without making excuses as to why they occurred.

I have read two very interesting blogs from Craig Harper in the last few days. One was about the Discomfort Theory and the other was about getting out of your own way. It's amazing how sometimes information like this falls into your lap at the time you need it most. Both of these articles really made me sit back and think about my journey over the last 3 months. I started well but after my first gain things became a little shaky. I thought I glided through it but on reflection I've been fooling myself a little bit. I really need to get out of my own way and let this program work as I know it does. I need to learn how to manage me more and be actively involved in my day to day self so I can see bad habits when they first reappear and nip them in the butt.

The discomfort theory is something I found fascinating and so very true. I have spent most of my life staying in my comfort zone. That comfort zone that let me eat what I wanted with no moderation and never worry about things like calorie content, nutritional value or how the heck I was going to work off that 800 calorie piece of chocolate cake. The theory really is very simple, do the same things and you will continue to get the same results. Transformation comes through getting uncomfortable.

So here I sit at 12.57am contemplating wether I want comfort or transformation. The answer is easy, I want the later. It's time to get uncomfortable because I've come too far to let it all go now.

This week my plan is going to be very simple (in theory):

1. Stick to my points
2. Track every morsel that passes my lips
3. No treats for one week
4. Go to gym at least 4 times in the next 7 days

As of right now, I choose to get out of my own way and let myself succeed.

Week 12 Weigh In

A loss of 200gram this week. It nothing close to what I was hoping to achieve this week but I was a little flexible with my points over the Easter weekend so i'm happy with any loss really.

Time to get back on the horse though and start really chipping away at this weight.

Mixed Feelings

I'm being set up on a date tomorrow night by my best friend and I have really mixed feelings about it. I haven't been on a 'date' in about 6 years, that has mostly been my choice and part of my self imposed seclution that occurred the bigger I got.

The gentleman i'm being set up with sounds like a nice enough guy, good job, good family, we even have some similar interests from what i've been told but I just don't know. I had dubbed 2010 as the year of me and thus far it has been fantasic. I'm feeling more confident, i'm eating well, exercising, in general life is pretty good but i'm still a long way from goal and I just don't know if i'm ready to put myself out there yet. Too late to back out now really, i've already said I would go. What's the harm right, one night and I might have a little fun...fingers crossed

WW Winter Challenge

I joined the Winter Challenge on the WW forum a month back. It's been a slightly rocky month with my little blow out but I still think my goal is achievable with a little hard work and good quality choices.

My goal is to be 90kg by the 31st of May. Meaning I need to lose 8.9kg in 8 and half weeks. Optimistic? Maybe, but i'm going to give it my best shot!

Biggest Loser Vent

You see this is exactly why I should have continued my boycott and not watched this show.

Tonight I was catching up on a little tv (yay for Foxtel IQ) and watched Monday night's episode of The Biggest Loser. I have to tell you the attitude of some of the contestants and the trainers to losing 0.9g or gain 0.1g was absolutely gobsmacking!!

Yes, yes, I know it's a tv program, ratings matter and realistic weightloss would be nowhere near as interesting to watch BUT there are people in this world who watch this show and take a lot of the advice and attitudes as gospel and to put out there that a 900 gram loss is inadequate is pathetic. The body is a mysterous machine and will do odd things, the contestants had been in NZ for a week and not exercising anywhere near as much and they have started to introduce some weights work into their routines. The fact that not once was it mentioned that muscle weighs more than fat or the fact that a change in routine can often cause your body to riot was morally irresponsible.

I have had a 900gram loss twice and whilst I will fully admit that I always wish it was bigger I know that it is absolutely nothing to sneeze at! I've seen what a kilo of fat looks like, its HUGE! 900grams is almost an entire one of those. The concerning part of it all is if the contestants are not prepared to encounter small weight loss weeks or even the occassional gain they will fail when they get outside and don't have a trainer pushing them everyday.

Like I said, I know it is TV but that doesn't remove social responsibilty! I'm starting to think this show should come with big disclaimers and a DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME warning!

A little bit of house cleaning

I've found myself lacking an real inspiration to blog lately so thought I would do a bit of a tidy up and revamp to get myself motivated. If my blog looks a little unorganised over the next few days it's just because i'm getting things settled.

Week 11 Weigh In

Thrilled to report a 1.6kg weight loss this week, I nearly did a happy dance on the scales when I saw the numbers! 98.8 who would have thunk it!!

Obviously that means i've undone my Sydney damage and back to being a 90's girl. No more slip ups of that magnitude are allowed to occurr i've made that promise to myself.

I've started doing some stregnth training at the gym and suprisingly i'm really enjoying it. Still suffering from sore muscles a little as obviously they are being used for the first time in a long time but my body feels stronger and tighter after a session and that is a pretty amazing feeling when you have spent the last decade feeling more like wobbly jelly.

Week 10 Weigh In - Back On Track

Back on track this week with a nice 1.1kg loss. It turns out the sore muscles I've had all weekend from a few grulling sessions at gym have been worth it!

Week 9 & 10 - Lesson Learnt

Well well well what a fortnight it has been!

I missed weigh in last week as I was down in Sydney to say goodbye to my brother who has been deployed to the Gulf for six months. On the positive side I got to spend four wonderful days with him and my new niece which was fabulous. On the negative side I don't get to see my brother for the next six months (which really sucks as we are very close) and those four days were filled with a lot of emotional eating so it was no real surprise when I weighed myself on Tuesday and discovered that I had put on 2kg....ouch! Two weeks worth of good work gone in a week. I have no one to blame but myself and I'm not going to make any excuses for it. I made the choices I made and life goes on. Funnily enough though I was not as shattered as I thought I would be about the gain.

Gaining weight is certainly not a habit I want to get back into but as they say its not about how many times you fall down its about how you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. So I decided instead of getting upset about a gain, that in all honesty I completely deserved, I was going to focus my frustration on getting those two kilos off as fast as I can. So off to the gym I went and enlisted the help of a personal trainer who has set up a weights and cardio program for me. I haven't done any strength training in years and oh my goodness, I have sore muscles in places I didn't even know I had muscles, it's crazy!

All in all a small disappoint has lead to a new found sense of self belief and determination. Life will not stop just because I've decided to finally treat myself well, I have to adapt to that and definitely make smarter choices in the future when travelling...lesson learned.

With weigh in tomorrow morning looming I'm hoping for a kilo loss, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed, I've done the work this week so hopefully it will pay off.

Oh and before I forget on my Sydney splurge my brother's girlfriend and I went for a nice little shopping trip to DFO where I picked up a snazzy new top and to my complete and total disbelief it was a size 16 and it fit me! Now granted it is a loose peasant type shirt and I know I'm certainly not a 16 across the board yet but it felt so good when it fit so I have to share:

Size 16 shirt, 5.9kg lighter and look I have cheek bones again!







Still a long way to go but I'm proud (despite the unflattering photos) of how far I've come already.

Week 8 Weigh In - Hello 90's LTNS

I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT!!!!!!

It took eight weeks and few stern pep talks BUT i'm finally back into double figures and so freakin' excited about it!

My 900 gram loss breaks the 100's and slides me comfortably to 99.5kg, I almost can't believe it - I haven't been in the ninties for a long long time!

Watch out 80's you are next! I only have one question, why on earth did it take me sooooo long to do this?

Feeling Proud

I'm not usually the kind to give myself a pat on the back but I'm so damn proud of myself right now!

Tonight I had the first real test of my determination to get this weight off once and for all and right up until crunch time I wasn't sure if I could do it. I had to attend an engagement party this evening and I was really worried about how I was I going to handle temptation being so close. It's easy at home, I don't have any of those naughty foods in the house any more but this was really the first time I've road tripped my new WW lifestyle.

Well I'm proud to announce that I handled it all with relative ease, I saved up a few points over the last few days to make sure I would stay well within my limit. I had a banana before I left home so that I wasn't starving when I got the party, I steered clear of all the lollies and junk and I'm not a drinker so that bit was easy. Then came dinner, there were a few options available but none of them super healthy (honey soy chicken, beef stroganoff, chili con carne, lasagna or potato bake) so I had a very small serving of chili con carne and steamed vegetables. Then came the really hard part....dessert! They served pavlova, I LOVE pavlova and I do have to say I did contemplate having just a little bit but with weigh in on Monday looming I simply reminded myself that the 5 minutes of enjoyment I would get out of the Pavlova are going to be of absolutely no comfort to me on Monday morning when I weigh in if they impact my loss for the week. I reminded myself that no food on this planet, not even pavlova, will taste as good as been thin will feel and with that I removed myself from the dessert area and that was that...no more temptation!

It was such a huge breakthrough for me, as I find it easy to make excuses about food when in social situations, so to be able to come through one without feeling any regret is just wonderful. I am really starting to notice the mental changes in relation to my approach to food. Most days I make better choices without evening thinking about it now and the days I need to kick myself up the bum and remind myself to be good are becoming few and far between so.... yay me!

Ok gloat over!

Week 7 Weigh In

I've been run off my feet so far this week and haven't even had a chance to celebrate my latest weight loss BUT am thrilled that I lost another 1.3kg this week bringing my total weight loss to 7kg in 7 weeks and only 400grams off the elusive double figures wooo hooo!

After years of yoyo dieting and being the gullible fool that fell for fad diets it is remarkable to me how much better I feel this time round. I don't feel like i'm dieting i'm just making healthier choices and my life is so much better for it.

I've been thinking a bit about rewards this week given that I have now passed my 5kg and 5% milestones. I want to celebrate the fact that i'm sticking to this and so far doing relatively well and of course I don't want my rewards to be food related. I really like the idea of a charm braclet, with a new charm being added each time I lose 5kg. It is something I could keep forever as a reminder to how far i've come. So this weekend will be dedicated to jewellery shopping I'm thinking. Although, being the typical gemini I am, that is always subject to change :)

Week 6 Weigh In - YAAYY!

A very quick post before I scoot out the door for work.

A 1kg loss for me this week which means i've finally reached (and passed) my 5kg goal as well as hitting just over 5% of my body weight gone...yayyyy! So so happy right now, today is going to be a great day!

Week 6 Wrap Up

I haven't had a chance to write much lately as my internet connection has been all over the place but that would have to be the only bad news I've got.

I have had a fantastic week, since my revelation last week that this battle is all about choices, I've been feeling more confident and more determined then ever.

I am proud of the choices I have made with food this week and with work being so busy I've been able to increase my incidental exercise by at least 50%. My favourite pair of trusted three-quarter denim pants are literally hanging on my hips by a wing and a pray, I would almost say they are too big. Give it a week or two and those babies will never see the light of day again. I think I might have to have a ceremonial bon-fire or something and really make an occasion out of it!

My mum took me shopping today and for the first time in the longest time I actually enjoyed it. We went to Simone Perele at DFO and I had a fitting to figure out what my bra size was. Sounds crazy but I've never been professionally fitted before as I was just too embarrassed at my size but I rather enjoyed the feeling today. That was probably largely helped by the fact that the sales assistant gave me the BEST news. Before starting WW I was wearing a 20E, as of today (just 6 short weeks later) I'm now an 18E BUT already on the second clip. Accordingly to the lovely sales assistant that means I'm already on my way to a 16D. I simply can not believe it! I get to wear pretty underwear instead of something that feels like sandbags!!

After picking myself back up after 2 pretty ordinary weeks (completely my own fault) I'm really looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. I'm soooo close to my 5kg mark only a mere 300grams to go and I'll nail it so keeping my fingers crossed and off to the walk my beautiful lil puppy right now to squeeze in just a bit more exercise.

Dear scales please be kind, I think I earned it this week :)

Week 5 Weigh In

I somehow miraculously lost another 400grams this week. I'm feeling very humbled because I honestly didn't deserve the loss.

So far though week six is looking really positive so as always ..onwards and upwards.

On A Mission

Whilst on the theme of motivation, this is my new favourite workout song, it's already on my Ipod and ready to roll!

Victim Mentality vs The Power of Choice

I have to confess I haven't watched The Biggest Loser since early last season when they started advertising TBL Shakes. I had a significant ethical issue with a show programed to teach people how to eat well and exercise jumping on the shake diet roller coaster so I had my own little boycott of the show. With that said, last night as I was looking for something to watch whilst doing some ironing I saw TBL Masterclass was on and I was curious as to what it entailed. I have to say, I was impressed! I can really see the long term benefits a class like this could have on your everyday Australian if they wish to win the battle over their weight.

I listened intently as they went through exercises and the cooking class but it wasn't until a contestant from season 3 appeared that I stopped what I was doing and sat down to listen. She said something that I found so inspiring that I felt as if the last two weeks of kinda doing WW have been washed away and my determination renewed. Basically she admitted that she had let her life circumstances define who she had become and you could see so clearly from her eyes in the before photo just how empty she felt when she walked into that house. But there she was, some 2 years later, happy..healthy..full of life. She now owns her life. She now defines who she is! That is the type of person I aspire to be, someone who owns their life!

Alison made a choice whilst in the house that she was not going to let her life control her any longer and I admire her dedication and tenacity to get to where she is today. This of course got me to thinking about the power of choice. I have struggled for the last two weeks to stay on track and reading back through my blog posts I can see a lot of excuses there for why I have done the things I have done. I even went as far as saying I didn't want to make excuses and then kept right on making them. I let myself down and fell back into victim mentality. I let my life control me once again, blaming my problems on work hours and lack of sleep.

The truth of the matter is I made the choice to not track my points, I made the choice to not go to the gym and I made the choice to eat that Red Tulip Easter Bunny. No one made me do it, my boss didn't hold a gun to my head and make me not eat well or not exercise. If I over think anything I seem to find it very easy to come up with excuses as to why not to do things.

I have spent far to much of my life being the self imposed victim. I blamed everyone else and everything else for letting me get to the stage the I am. I sabotaged myself and for the first time i realise that by doing that, I was making the choice to stay fat!

No more excuses, as of today I make the choice to be happy, to be healthy, to eat well and to include exercise in my routine every single day. I make the choice to no longer make excuses, I make the choice to no longer let life define me. I will define my own path and in doing so, I hope to find the real me. She has been hidden for a long time. But i know deep down she is there and she is screaming to be let free.

Stress

Stress is my nemesis, I can handle almost anything else but when life starts to get stressful I find even the very best of my intentions falter.

I have had an absolutely (excuse the language) shiftful week! My house was being painted this week which has meant living in paint fumes for the last 5 days. The turpentine in the gloss makes my chest heavy and as a result I haven't been sleeping well, because I haven't been sleeping well I've been exhausted nearly everyday before it even starts. Then of course to top it all off work is off the charts at the moment, so much to be done and so few people to do it. I've worked the better part of 24 hours in the last 36. I know because of the way this week has played out I haven't stayed on track, I've been eating foods I know I shouldn't because by Thursday I need the sugar hit to stay awake and I haven't made it to the gym once. I am fully expecting a gain this week as I honestly don't believe I deserve a loss. But, I have to find a better way to manage stressful weeks. They aren't going to disappear just because I've decided to try and make my own future better. I have to make time for me, no matter what life throws at me.

It's funny how your mindset changes through this journey. Six months ago I was the queen of excuses. I had an excuse for everything, but today I don't want to make excuses, instead I get frustrated with myself for not doing the things I know I have to do. I am determined to keep to my goal, I just have to find better ways to deal with the unknown factor.

I read Fiona's blog this morning and she had a very interesting post on there about not letting life be a barrier. This is a lesson I need to learn and the sooner I learn it the better this journey is going to be.

Next week is about getting back on the horse, I MUST eat well, I MUST sleep well, I MUST make time for exercise. These three little things are the what will turn my life around, do I really want to spend another day not making time for things that are so powerful?

There is one very positive thing that did happen this week though. My beautiful baby niece Madison was born on February 10th at 7.59pm.

She weighed 3.9kg and was 51cm long. Welcome to the world Maddi xoxo!

Week 4 Weigh In

Not entirely unexpected my loss wasn't as great as I would normally hope for this week BUT I knew it was coming and I've decided to look on the bright side. I lost 0.4kg this week which puts me 400 grams closer to goal, that is nearly a whole container of butter! I find physical imagery a great motivator.

I did as I had said I would and have gone back to basics this week, all my meals planned and today felt great so onwards and upwards.

Brutal Honesty

After 3 very successful weeks on the WW plan I've found that the 4th week has been a little lack luster. It's amazing how easily old habits can creep back in when you aren't paying full attention to what you are doing. Having snuck a peek at the scales this morning, this week I've lost 0.2kg so far. Whilst I'm more than happy with it being a loss, its a big dive from the 1kg a week average I had for the first three weeks and I've spent the evening reassessing my week so that I can try and make next week better.

I had a great loss last week and it is probably more than reasonable to expect a lower than average loss this week as it all balances out. However I made myself a promise when I started this blog that I would always be honest with myself on this journey and that means admitting that I haven't had the best week.

Without wanting to make excuses for the choices I've made this week, I think my downfall has been a combination of becoming a little cocky or complacent due to early success and the fact that work has been extremely busy for the last week or so. I have been very fortunate over the last three weeks with my weight loss, it has come off relatively easily and I haven't had to think to much about it. I made wise food choices and started exercising again for the first time in about 10 years.

This week though the wheels have fallen off a little bit. I haven't been eating my allocated points each day, I've often had anywhere between 5 - 7 points left at the end of the day, which I know is a big no no. On top of that we have been run off our feet at work and as I'm an afternoon exerciser, by the time the end of the day has come around, I'm exhausted and have found it far to easy to make excuses not to go to the gym. If I was to be totally honest I would have to admit that I'm still not at the point where I love exercise so I think a combination of being tired and having had a few great losses, subconsciously I decided that I didn't really need to exercise as much. THIS IS A THOUGHT PATTERN THAT HAS TO CHANGE!!!!

If 0.2kg is what my total loss for this week checks in at on Monday when I weigh in, I will be happy with that. It still puts me 200g closer to my goal and equates to a total loss of 4.1kg in 4 weeks. But it's important for my long term success that I nip destructive habits in the butt.

Starting first thing tomorrow morning I'm going back to basics, planning my meals in advance and I absolutely have to make the room for exercise so I'm going to try and switch to exercising of a morning before work. I refuse to fall back into the habits that got me to where I am because I know believe that I deserve better than that!

Week 3 Weigh In

So I didn't really get time to write my wrap up last night. Well, actually that is not entirely true, I was glued to the TV watching the tennis but anywho.

As I've already stated a couple of times this week was a little tough for me. It wasn't really a motivation problem. I was still as determined as ever to shift this weight but I was so tired last week that the thought of exercise made me just want to sleep more. I did bust it out on the Wii Fit a few times but I know I did nowhere near the amount of exercise I should have.

With this in mind I approached the scales with trepidation this morning. At most I was expecting a 300 - 500g loss and that was only if I was lucky, so I'm sure you can understand my complete and total amazement when I stepped on and they told me I had lost 1.6kg!!! Seriously, 1.6kg, I weighed myself 3 separate times in different areas of the bathroom just to make sure!

I'm assuming a large part of that is probably the weight loss masked by fluid retention from the week before but still 1.6kg!

I'm over the moon right now, that brings my total weight loss to 3.9kg in 3 weeks.

I have never stuck to anything for this long and right now I'm feeling unstoppable. I know eventually the losses will decrease and that is when the real work begins but for now I'm going to enjoy the ride!

TGIF!!!

What a week it has been!

Work has been insane this week, I feel like I have bearly left the place. I haven't gotten anywhere near as much exercise in this week as I wanted too, that seems to be a recurring theme, I'm definitely going to have to work harder on that next week.

I am however, finally feeling better, YAY!

I'm loving that my motivation has returned and i no longer feel like all I want to do is crawl up into a ball and make the whole world go away.

I have a pretty busy weekend on the cards too but I'm going to aim to take bailey for a walk each day over the weekend. He will love it and I will enjoy the fresh air.

The Dreaded Befores....

It has taken me a while to work up the courage to post these photos because I was ashamed that I let myself get so big but I have realised that I am not the girl in those photos anymore. Sure I've only lost 2.3kg so far but there is lots more to come and I'm looking forward to losing every gram.

So here we go, pictures of the girl I will never be again.

July 09

Nov 09

June 08

Joining the links

I've been really struggling for the last two days. I've stuck to my points despite having a cheeseburger for lunch yesterday (that hurt points wise but I made up for it by having only a zero points salad for dinner). I have discovered that unfortunately during TTOTM I crave foods that are high in sugar, high in fat and in general just aren't that good for you at all! It seems ridiculous that it has taken me 28 years to figure that out but I've never been more acutely aware of what I am putting in my mouth as I have been for the last two weeks.

On top of that I get excessive period pain and bloat badly so I'm feeling pretty crappy at the moment and just can not find the motivation to get up and get to the gym. I know I should, I know the scales will be more kind and I will feel better for having done my exercise for the day but how do you get up and put one foot in front of the other when you are struggling to even get out of bed?

I think I'm going to just lay low today, stick to my points and try to do some work on the Wii Fit later this evening when my body finally gets moving. It isn't ideal and it may come back to bite me but until I can find a better way of dealing with this time of the month, it's all I've got.

Week 2 Weigh In

Another 900grams knocked off this week and i'm thrilled!

I honestly wasn't expecting that kind of a loss this week due to currently feeling bloated and just yuk in general so I almost jumped for joy when i saw the scales this morning!

WOOO HOO!!!

Week 2 Wrap Up

Well so we come to the end of another week.

The week itself has been pretty good but I've achieved nowhere near the volume of exercise I was hoping for. Unfortunately preparations for mum's b'day took more time than I had anticipated. So my goal for next week is definitely going to be focusing on upping my exercise, I simply have to make the time for it!

Food wise with the exception of my Chinese food stumble it has been a pretty good week, I've stayed within points every day except for the aforementioned and I was feeling pretty good until the dreaded monthly visitor arrived this morning. Now I'm feeling bloated and sluggish so I have absolutely no idea what is going to present on the scales tomorrow morning.

Either way I'm not going to obsess over it, this is one week of many and my goal each week is to make the new better then the last so onward and upward.

I stumbled but picked myself right back up

Last night was my mum's birthday so being the dutiful daughter I felt it was important to spoil her rotten and give her everything I could. I asked her what she wanted for dinner and she told me she would love some fried rice.

Now maybe I had deluded myself into thinking the Chinese food couldn't be that bad for you right? It's all meat and veggies. Anywho, I indulged her and went and got some fried rice and chicken chow mein for dinner. I only had a very small serving of rice and two tablespoons of the chow mein but holy mother of god when I went looking for the points values of Chinese food I nearly fell of my damn chair!

So yesterday was a bit of points blow out, my first one in 12 days, and I was feeling pretty crappy about it this morning. However after doing a little more rationalising today though I remembered the very wise words that so many of the beautiful people on the WW forum utter: WEIGHT WATCHERS IS NOT A DIET!!

I will fall down sometimes, sometimes I simply won't pass up that piece of cake or that serving of Chinese food and you know what, that is ok! As long as I have more good days then I have bad and I'm prepared to make up for the points blow up throughout the rest of the week then I'm still on my way to a better, healthier me and that really is the ultimate goal.

I do have a small confession to make though - that Chinese food really didn't taste as good as i remembered, it was very greasy and really not that satisfying - I need to remember that the next time temptation strikes.

So this week I'm aiming to lose 1kg, I'm hoping my little blow out last night won't rattle things too much but I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see.

100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds

So Mrswhitehead posted this on the WW forums this morning and I found it so inspiring that i'm going to post a copy here too for those days when I need a motivational kick up the bum!

100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds

1. To feel good about ourselves.

2. To have GREAT sex! :)

3. So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.

4. To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style to them that fit
correctly.

5. To have more energy!

6. To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.

7. To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.

8. To wear a bathing suit.

9. To cross your legs or sit Indian style.

10. To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to
see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you.

11. So our ankles won't swell.

12. To fit into a booth at any restaurant.

13. To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray table not balance
on our bellies.

14. To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an
accident.

15. To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.

16. To be able to pick something up off the floor.

17. Panty Hose that fit!

18. To go to an amusement park and ride the rides.

19. To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage.

20. To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.

21. To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping....

22. To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.

23. To not worry about rashes and sweating.

24. To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "gee you have
such a pretty face".

25. To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.

26. To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you.

27. To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.

28. To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria’s Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".

29. To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.

30. To not get stuck in a turn style.

31. To not wake up feeling achy in the back. or to have ache free legs and feet.

32. So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.

33. To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you
when you get up.

34. So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.

35. To never be embarrassed about your size.

36. To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.

37. To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.

38. To not be more out of shape than seniors.

39. To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.

40. To be able to put on wedding rings again.

41. To try to make a double chin and fail!

42. Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!

43. Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.

44. Normal waistbands rather than elastic!

45. To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!

46. To look good in a tee shirt!

47. To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over leg!

48. To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!

49. To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see if the chair has come up
with you!

50. To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!

51. To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!

52. To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.

53. To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart.

54. To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.

55. To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.

56. To get promotions/hired or close that sale.

57. Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!

58. No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)

59. Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!

60. To not have the fear of being rejected.

61. To successfully flirt!

62. To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car!

63. One size fits all and it fits you!

64. To have a lap.

65. To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.

66. To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to
"get the job done".

67. To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!

68. To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly
and your butt.

69. No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.

70. So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!

71. To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.

72. To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.

73. To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at
ease.

74. To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach
around!

75. To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.

76. To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!

77. To have your feet get smaller.

78. Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.

79. Blood pressure returns to normal.

80. To avoid other health complications from being overweight.

81. To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.

82. To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with
amazement...because they never knew you're fat!

83. To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!

84. To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.

85. To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face
in the world.

86. To not mind getting your picture taken.

87. To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.

88. To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.

89. To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.

90. To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.

91. To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have
so many that look good and fit well.

92. To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!

93. To buy tie shoes instead of slip ons!

94. To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.

95. To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!

96. To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!

97. To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you
shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!

98. To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!

99. To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.

100. And the 100th reason to lose 100 pounds.....

I'M WORTH IT!

Getting Closer

A short and sweet post to start the morning before I scoot off to do that thing called work!

Went to the gym yesterday and i'm feeling so much better for it. I can really see how your body and mindframe can come to rely on sweating out the frustrations of the day. Managed 50mins on the treadmill yesterday before my ankles started to get a little sore. I really want to push myself to hit that 60 minute mark but am a little afraid that if I push to hard i'll end up injuring myself and losing all motivation. So for now easy as she goes, I figure as along as i'm getting my heart rate up and am having to push a little to reach a new goal each day then i'm doing okay.

I've been looking at some of the classes the gym offers too. They do all the Les Mills stuff and i'm really liking the sound of Body Combat. I think I need to get my fitness level up a little bit more before I attempt one of those but i'm looking forward to giving it a go in the next few weeks.

Hope everyone is having a great week so far.

Week 1 Weigh In

WOOO HOOO 1.4kg down, never to be seen again.

I know it's not quite as much as a lot of people achieve in their first week but I'm thrilled with it either way. I figure after years of stupid yo yo diets I've probably got some re bonding to do with my metabolism before it forgives me fully. Anyway onwards and upwards to week two!

ps. I made the Chicken and Bacon Fettuccine from the new WW Easy Cookbook tonight. Does anyone else find it absolutely bizarre that some of this foods tastes better than all the fat laden 'yummy' foods they used to eat? It's really spinning me out tonight for some reason, the fettuccine was absolutely divine, so good in fact I feel like I've cheated even though I haven't. I worked the 7 points in for dinner nicely and still managed to save 1.5 for the day! Maybe I feel guilty for eating it given that I didn't get to the gym today as I had intended. Oh well, I'm within points nicely so it's probably just all in my head. This is why I really shouldn't post when I'm exhausted (Monday's always kick my butt).

Goodnight cyber world.

Week 1 Wrap Up

Well that's it folks, week one is done and dusted and I step on the scales first thing tomorrow morning to see how it has all gone.

Today was absolutely disastrous BUT not were food was concerned. I stuck strictly to my points and even managed to saved a few as well as have just a little serving of my all time favourite ice cream as a reward for the week. Should i be rewarding myself before stepping on the scales?

Anywho, as for my disastrous day I was all set to stick to my list of "things to do to get through the weekend' when all of a sudden my washing machine (which had my gym clothes in it) decided that apparently it was tired and didn't want to play today, my punishment for making it do so was that it completely flooded my laundry, garage and some of the carpet in my study! So i spent the greater portion of today mopping up excess water and trying to soak as much water out of my carpet as possible. One thing I did learn through this ordeal though was that when I stress I crave high sugar foods such as chocolate. Despite my tribulations of today I'm closing the door on it knowing that I've made progress I realised very quickly why I wanted those foods and realised that a piece of chocolate was not going to dry my carpet or fix my washing machine and that my friends is where the temptation ended. Yay for me!

Unfortunately because of my little washing machine escapade I didn't get to do some of the things I wanted to do today like get to the gym for my second cardio session which surprisingly I was pretty bummed out about. After all the cleaning and mopping up was done though I did jump on my WII Fit and do half an hour of boxing. Not quite as good as jog on the treadmill but when life throws you lemons....

I did get my house cleaned though, did i mention that i managed to break my vacuum cleaner today as well?... Technology and I aren't doing so well together today. Fortunately the vacuum cleaner was an easy fix and now the house is sparkling at least until my puppy wakes up and decides to go on a rampage.

All in all its been a pretty good week and most importantly I proved to myself that I can get through the weekend without too much of a struggle. I went to the gym three times this week and have upped my time and intensity on the treadmill on each visit. That probably doesn't sound like a lot but I haven't exercised at all in about the last 3 years so I'm pretty proud of myself. My goal for this coming week will be to get there a minimum of 4 times and keep working toward getting an hour on the treadmill done. So far I'm up to 40 minutes so I'm thinking by Friday next week I'll be there.

I was really surprised to find that food wise this week didn't present all that much of a challenge for me. I'm actually enjoying eating better foods full of flavour and colour. As I mentioned in an earlier post I went out and got the Symply to Good to be True cookbook. I found a recipe in there for Honey Soy Beef..plugged the recipe into the WW recipe builder and it is only worth a grand total of 3 points. Add half a cup of cook rice for 2 points and voila it was an amazingly tasty meal, very filling and for a total of 5 points.. I was thrilled. I could really get into this healthy eating thing with food like that gracing my plate.

I'm not usually the kind of girl that toots her own horn but I just have to say I'm incredibly proud of myself for the week that I have accomplished. No matter what magical number the scales display tomorrow morning, I've had a fabulous week and I feel soooo much better for it. Week 2 look out, I'm coming to get ya!

Before i scoot off to plan my meals for this coming week, I would like to wish everyone the best of luck for the week ahead, may the days be kind and your determination hold strong.

-Skye

The Power of Positivity

Day 6 and I'm feeling great!

It seem crazy to say but in just 6 days of eating well and exercising regularly I feel better than I have in years. I actually have some energy! I don't know if I have managed to lose a single kilo as i refuse to weigh myself before WI day but what I do know is this:

1. I'm sleeping better

2. I'm eating better

3. I don't feel lethargic all the time

4. My skin is clearer; and

5. I'm happier than I've been in a while

They seem like amazingly positive things to have only occurred in 6 days but its true. I am more confident and more determined then ever.

In the words of Michael Buble:

"Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know

Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean

Sleep in peace when the day is done, that's what I mean

And this old world is a new world

And a bold world

For me"

Weekend Worry

Previously my weekends would have involved going out with friends either to dinner or the movies. In either scenario my food choices would have been awful (think large buttered popcorn and large frozen coke or any Italian meal dripping in cream and cheese). I would have done a little cleaning up around the house before I got tired and took a nap. The rest of the weekend would have revolved largely around the TV catching up on my shows from throughout the week and eating lots of food I shouldn't be. With this in mind and my first Weight Watchers weekend just around the corner I find myself getting more and more concerned about how I'm going to survive this weekend and stay on track.

So what I need is a plan of a attack, how am i going to keep myself occupied throughout the weekend so I don't slip into bad habits? I've decided that success in any journey is all about taking charge of yourself so I'm going to write a list of things that I'm going to do this weekend with each one being ticked off once I've completed it. Here goes:

1. Take my dog for a walk each day

2. Complete at least 2 forty minute cardio sessions at the gym

3. Clean the house from top to bottom

4. Go to the newsagency and purchase the new WW Cookbook and/or a Simply To Good To Be True Cookbook - Done

5. Plan my menu for next week

6. Go food shopping for required items - Done

7. Precook some meals for next week

8. Update Ipod with some up tempo workout music - Done

With my first weigh in on Monday morning looming I'm determined to eat well and exercise regularly, I really want to see a good result this week and start putting the steps in place to break bad habits.

Wish me luck!

Light Bulb Moment

I, like many people who take this journey, have struggled with my weight since puberty. I went from being the big boned primary school kid, to the overweight high school girl, to the fat university student, to the even fatter employee. With each kilo that crept on another slice of my self esteem went out the window.

Over the years I've tried all sorts of 'diets' from shakes to nutritionists to Jenny Craig. You name it, I've probably tried it. Sure I'd lose a few kilos but it was never enough to satisfy the image of perfection I had in my head and before I knew I hadn't just fallen of the wagon, I'd blown the damn thing up.

You see up until literally 4 days ago, i hadn't had my light bulb moment and as a result my attempts to lose weight previously have been futile. Whilst I hated my size, i liked the the element of protection it afforded me. Sounds insane doesn't it? But I didn't ever have to worry about failure because I never tried anything. I have hidden behind my weight for at least the last 15 years if not longer and it has only been very very recently that I have realised that I'm sitting back watching my life go by.

I don't want to be the shy girl in the back corner of the room anymore. I don't want to not do things because I don't feel like I fit in. I want to travel and not worry about how uncomfortable the seats are. I want to go clothes shopping and smile as opposed to cry. I want to LIVE LIFE!

About 6 months ago it finally occurred to me that this fake it til you make it attitude was never going to shift a single kilo from my increasing frame. Bottom line was 6 months ago I wasn't ready, 6 weeks ago, I wasn't ready, hell as little as 6 days ago I wasn't sure I was ready. By trying to force myself to do something I wasn't ready or willing to put the effort into was pure sabotage. I WAS SETTING MYSELF UP TO THE FAIL!!! The one thing I was the most terrified of I was doing to myself..that was a very rude awakening.

As anyone who is overweight can attest you constantly think about doing something about your weight. I've joined weight watchers twice in the last 6 months because I was going to try however my 'I'm going to try' never amounted to anything more than another $100 down the drain and another 5 - 10 minutes wasted on useless thoughts.

So what changed? The short answer is, I did.

In truth it was a process of little things as each thing passed my light bulb flashed.

Firstly, my younger brother who is fit and healthy told me I was beautiful no matter what anyone thought and for the first time in my life I actually believed him. I am beautiful person and I deserve to feel beautiful too! LIGHT BULB MOMENT 1!

Secondly, i got a WII Fit for Christmas. I weighed myself on boxing day with my WII fit and my weight was where I expected it to be at 106kg. A few days later I returned home and decided to play on my WII fit, it told me i had to weigh myself before I could do anything so I reluctantly went ahead and did so only to be greeted with the news that I had put on 1.4kg in about 4 days. I was devastated. After I wiped away the tears and pulled myself together I realised if I don't do something right now I'm going to continue to put weight on. Simple thought process really isn't it? But up until this point it had never occurred to me previously. LIGHT BULB MOMENT 2!

I can't say exactly what changed but the penny finally dropped, I've spent a great deal of my life looking after other people but in doing so I hadn't been looking after me. I got myself up off the couch and went to the pantry, do or die time i thought. Grabbing a garbage bag i threw away every piece of junk food I had in there. As the garbage bag hit the bottom of the rubbish bin the penny finally clicked into place. I promptly returned inside and logged onto weight watchers online (the program I had signed up to two months before but had done nothing with). I came up with ideas for meals and how to stay within my allocated points range. Once that was settled I wrote a list of the food I needed, got in my car and drove to the supermarket.

That was 5 days ago. I officially started my journey on Monday 11th January 2010 and I'm proud to say I finally get it, i finally believe I'm worth it, and most importantly i finally know I CAN DO IT!

I'm up to day 4 and my resolve hasn't faulted once, might not sound like much but four days for me is as good as 4 months for others. I am more determined now than i have ever been before. My thirtieth birthday is in June 2011 and come hell or high water I will be fitter, healthier and more ready than ever to tackle life by then. I'm looking forward to each day and what it's going to throw at me because I've finally gotten past the biggest obstacle in my life...myself.