Finally a good start to the week, my wobbly boots seems to have been given a rest.
I have already cooked all my dinners for the week, I have actually planned my menu a fortnight a head, i'm already one litre of water down and i'm busting to get to gym this afternoon.. feeling positive and healthy today so yipeeee!
Yay...
Week 15 Weigh In & Photo Update
Well what a disasterous week!
I was sick with the flu for most of the week, i'm only just starting to feel human again now. Of course that means I got absolutely no exercise done this week and my eating was all over the place. Despite all that I still managed to lose 200grams so I guess that is a positive.
I've been feeling a little lacklustre the last couple of weeks and that is steming mostly from letting myself down. I need to get back on track, I know illness happens and there isn't much you can do about that, but I made some terrible choices with food this week and that is all on me. I just need to give myself a good kick up the butt and get going again. I know as soon as I start seeing some good numbers looking back at me on a monday morning again I will be ok, so time to stop procrastinating me thinks.
Instead of dwelling on the negatives of this week, I have decided i'm going to focus on the positives, I have lost 10.2kg so far on my little journey. It hasn't come of quite as fast as I would have hopped but it is a marathon not a sprint, it can take 4 years to come off if it wants to, i'm not going to give up.
So here we go, me at 10.2kg lighter:
Week 14 Weigh In
As expected I gained 400g this week. I'm trying really hard not to let it get me down, I know it will be gone plus more next week. It is a little frustrating though, my goal of reaching 90kg by June seems to be getting further out of reach, i'm not going to stop trying though.
The Night Before
Sunday nights are always a mixed bag for me being the night before my routine Monday morning weigh in. I seem to spend the evening going back over my week, thinking about areas I slipped up or the ways in which I managed to impress even myself.
This week has been a bit of a double edged sword. I'm uber impressed that I kept my goals, I went to gym 4 times, I stuck to my points and I tracked everything ...so one very big pat on the back for me. But i'm feeling a little bloated this evening and TTOM is immenant so i'm really not sure how the scales are going to play out tomorrow morning. It has always slowed my weight loss down in the past but I have never gained as a result. My concern is, that as I was getting dressed this morning for a BBQ lunch, I put on what has become my favourite pair of jeans lately only to be confronted with an uncomfortably tight feeling around my waist...bahh humbug!!!
So i'm mentally preparing for the possiblity of a gain. I am making a promise to myself right now that if that is the way it does play out that I will not be disheartened, I will not let it deter or derail me, it will only be temporary and I can enjoy a bigger loss next week. Oh and just for safe measure i'm pulling out my measuring tape so I can take my measurements, I only ever take them in bad weeks so i have something positive to focus on.
On another positive note, my beautiful mother told me today she has been inspired by my weight loss and asked if I would mind if she joined the gym that I go to. Now to put that in perspective, my mum has her dad's genes and her dad was a jockey so she has always been on the petite side but she assures me that she is growing a floatation device around her waist and doesn't like it one bit, so she wants to follow my lead! I have so much admiration for her, so it was a real boost to hear that I have inspired her to do something instead of the other way around!
My goal for this week is to significantly reduce my diet coke habit. Up until this point I have used it to combat sugar cravings but i'm really starting to think I'm just trading one bad habit for another so it's gotta go or at the very least be wound right down. On that note however, it's time for sleep before my somewhat dreaded death match with the scales.
Self Belief & Technical Issues
When I started WW back in January I was determined to lose weight but I set my goal at 70kg which only put me in my healthy weight range by a hair, it's the curse of being a shortie I tell you! If I was to be totally honest when I started WW I really wasn't convinced that even 70kg was going to be achievable so didn't see the point in putting undue pressure on myself.
I said in an earlier entry that the changes I have seen in myself over the last 13 weeks have been amazing and one of those changes is a belief that I can do pretty much anything I set my mind too. Previously, I was a person terrified of failure, so terrified of it in fact, that I just stopped trying. If I didn't try, I couldn't fail at least that was my perspective.
After shedding 10.4kg I can proudly say that I believe I can do this and I can get to my goal weight no matter what I chose to set that at. So after some reevaluation I have decided to set my goal weight at 60kg. In January when I started WW the prospect of being able to lose 47.4kg seemed right up there with my being able to fly to the moon and back. It's funny how things change though, because it doesn't seem so scary now, it seems attainable, actually no...it is attainable!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not kidding myself that it will be easy, I know it won't be but that doesn't stop me anymore and i LOVE that feeling. Every passing day a little more life creeps back into me and that is worth more than I could ever express in words.
I don't know if anyone actually reads anything I write it, it's ok if they don't as it is really more for my own benefit but on the off chance that anyone does and especially if you are only just starting....believe in yourself! It is the most powerful tool you have and honestly, once you do, the world is your oyster and you can change your life!
On the technical side of things, I think I have fixed my comments but I make no guarantees.
Week 13 Weigh In
HOLY SMOKES!!!!
I could have picked my scales up and hugged them this morning when they revealed a 1.6kg loss for the week. That takes my total weight loss to 10.4kg and only 300g off losing 10% of my body weight. That is freakin amazing!!!
I've definitely had my ups and downs over the last 13 weeks but they have all been worth it to find myself standing here right now.
Bring on the next 10 I say!
I've been doing some thinking
When I joined WW back in January, one of my motivations came from the realisation that I wasn't actively living my life any longer. I was quite happy to just sit back and exist from day to day, well happy wasn't really what I was but I was comfortable doing that. After my little light bulb moment, I realised that that was an incredibly sad state of affairs for anyone let alone someone who is only 28. That evening I signed up to WW.
In 12 weeks I've learnt some amazing things about myself and my ability to actually achieve goals when I put my mind to them but somewhere in the last month the wheels have become a bit wobbly. I'm not really sure why or what happened. But instead of following the program, that I know works by the way, I started to make little allowances for myself, like not exercising as much as I need to or having a treat food more often than I should. Today I sat down a looked over my weekly tracker and was shocked to see that I was having a 'treat' nearly everyday, I've only kind of been sticking to my points and I've been to the gym twice in the last two weeks. When did that happen and probably more importantly, why?
Old habits are hard to break and sometimes without even realising it they reappear in your life. It's not until you are given a reason to take stock of where you are and how you are going that you see patterns for what they really are without making excuses as to why they occurred.
I have read two very interesting blogs from Craig Harper in the last few days. One was about the Discomfort Theory and the other was about getting out of your own way. It's amazing how sometimes information like this falls into your lap at the time you need it most. Both of these articles really made me sit back and think about my journey over the last 3 months. I started well but after my first gain things became a little shaky. I thought I glided through it but on reflection I've been fooling myself a little bit. I really need to get out of my own way and let this program work as I know it does. I need to learn how to manage me more and be actively involved in my day to day self so I can see bad habits when they first reappear and nip them in the butt.
The discomfort theory is something I found fascinating and so very true. I have spent most of my life staying in my comfort zone. That comfort zone that let me eat what I wanted with no moderation and never worry about things like calorie content, nutritional value or how the heck I was going to work off that 800 calorie piece of chocolate cake. The theory really is very simple, do the same things and you will continue to get the same results. Transformation comes through getting uncomfortable.
So here I sit at 12.57am contemplating wether I want comfort or transformation. The answer is easy, I want the later. It's time to get uncomfortable because I've come too far to let it all go now.
This week my plan is going to be very simple (in theory):
1. Stick to my points
2. Track every morsel that passes my lips
3. No treats for one week
4. Go to gym at least 4 times in the next 7 days
As of right now, I choose to get out of my own way and let myself succeed.
Week 12 Weigh In
A loss of 200gram this week. It nothing close to what I was hoping to achieve this week but I was a little flexible with my points over the Easter weekend so i'm happy with any loss really.
Time to get back on the horse though and start really chipping away at this weight.
Mixed Feelings
I'm being set up on a date tomorrow night by my best friend and I have really mixed feelings about it. I haven't been on a 'date' in about 6 years, that has mostly been my choice and part of my self imposed seclution that occurred the bigger I got.
The gentleman i'm being set up with sounds like a nice enough guy, good job, good family, we even have some similar interests from what i've been told but I just don't know. I had dubbed 2010 as the year of me and thus far it has been fantasic. I'm feeling more confident, i'm eating well, exercising, in general life is pretty good but i'm still a long way from goal and I just don't know if i'm ready to put myself out there yet. Too late to back out now really, i've already said I would go. What's the harm right, one night and I might have a little fun...fingers crossed
